Creating Positive Lasting Memories
Marge Kennedy an international author of numerous books on parenting, and educational articles for children said “In truth, a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love.”
When all is said and done, what we have to look back on are the memories we created while we were alive and together.
Strong families are built on love. However, love doesn’t just happen. You have to work at love. The day-to-day hustle and bustle can leave you short on time and zapped of energy, leaving little room to work at building the loving relationships in your family. But making memories is one way to help link hearts together.
Many times, we are overwhelmed with numerous activities at work, church, other people’s problems, extended family issues that we forget to make time for our inner circle of our spouse and children that should matter the most to us. We take their love for granted until the once burning hot love turns into a lukewarm relationship with nothing major to write home about save discussions about children ailments, tuition and bills.
Memories are powerful. Think back to your own childhood. Whether positive or negative you have some very defining memories that most likely bonded you and another family member or helped define who you are today.
It would be great if we each looked back on the years spent together and recall special moments spent together.
I recall my first ever picnic at the Entebbe botanical gardens organized by my maternal aunties while I was 10 years with my siblings and cousins like it was yesterday.
I also vividly recall the yearly ritual of looking for a natural Christmas tree in the neighborhood with my brothers, bringing it home, decorating it as a family after struggling to balance in a bucket supported by bricks it in the corner of the small living room.
Perhaps one memory that stands out till now is the awe of listening to scary folk tales by my auntie Freda while seated in a circle with my siblings and cousins over a bonfire. This was always the highlight of our December holidays in the village with my cousins. The relationship with my cousins is steadfast owing to some of the firsts and fun moments we shared while we were children.
Times have since changed owing to the fast pace of life in the city but we can each purpose to create positive lasting memories and rituals in our families.
Cesare Pavase says – We don’t remember days, we remember moments
Think about some family rituals you could adopt;
Family movie night at home with popcorn (or any simple snacks, homemade juice) with members cozy covered in duvets snuck cozily together on one couch.
How about Saturday evening bonfires in the compound roasting meat or simply taking tea, telling stories or dancing to whatever choice of music you desire?
I know a family that has a ritual of eating out once a month in a different restaurant.
Fathers participating in Kitchen duty make for fun days in the home. This activity can create a bond and memories that can last forever. Think about such a ritual being carried forward generation after generation where the father, grandfather, son come together once a month/quarter and slave away with love in the kitchen for their family. And it will not matter the quality of the food that is presented. It is all in sharing the special moment.
How about family evenings walk with dogs and all?
It could be a calm as family prayers before bed. Moments where each one shares their prayer requests, testimonies, takes turns to lead the prayers?
Ever thought about family game night? Playing cards, ludo, word search, snakes and ladders or monopoly together?
Is there a special way Christmas, New Year, birthdays is celebrated in your home?
It is emotional if some firsts are done as a family. First time in a plane for the children, first time eating sea food or visiting a place/town or even witnessing something as magical and mundane as fireworks. Travel and food experiences make for beautiful unforgettable experiences.
It is important to create these memories especially for children because they provide joy, show that you love them, foster growth and development, help shape your children’s lives, and strengthen family bonds.
Wait! Remember to capture the moments.
Creating memories for our kids is one of the best gifts we can give them.
- Set aside regular time for family outings and activities.
- Take lots of pictures so the memories will last forever.
- Try new things such as taking a joint cooking class, go camping, explore somewhere new!
- Celebrate special occasions in unique ways.
- Prioritize quality time over quantity – it’s more important to make the most of your time together than to stick rigidly to a schedule.
For couples, time spent together is golden. Children learn what they see. If parents can show love, go on dates, play together, children will replicate the same in their future relationships and families will have fewer challenges.
The choices for creating lasting positive memories are limitless. Get creative, have fun and start now.
Set these among your goals going forward and track your progress same as you track the other stuff.
Memories, even bittersweet ones are better than nothing. – Jennifer L Amentrout
